Why You Can’t Focus (And It’s Not a Discipline Problem)

If you’re a 35+ female entrepreneur trying to grow your business without working all the time, and you still can’t focus when you sit down to work,

This is the blog to read.

Because the tool that helps you grow your business

is also the weapon that’s destroying your business.

Your phone is killing your focus.

And it’s doing it quietly.


The habit that’s wrecking your attention

Most female business owners keep their phone within arm’s reach while they work.

It’s normal. I totally get that.

But the problem is that even if it’s face down

and even if notifications are “mostly” off

Something pretty bad happens.

The second work gets uncomfortable – a hard email, a numbers task, content creation – 

your hand reaches for your phone automatically. Before you even realize it’s happening. In no time you find that you’re

Scrolling

Clicking

DM’ing

Watching

Five minutes turns into thirty.
Thirty turns into “Where did my morning go?”

We do this all day.

And what’s worse – even if we aren’t reaching for our phone during those uncomfortable parts of our day – the constant notifications every time we get a like, an email, or a DM, has us reaching for our phones even MORE often!

And then we wonder why we’re “busy all day” but we don’t feel really, truly productive.

Minutes slip by because we’re distracted – pretty much nonstop.


Why this isn’t a discipline problem

Your brain isn’t weak.
It’s responding exactly how it was trained to respond.

These things are literally designed by smart people using tricks of psychology to keep us engaged and always on our devices. 

It can feel like fighting a losing battle of addiction.

Our phones aren’t going away.

But there are some KEY things we can do to make this better.

Research shows that notifications pull attention even when we don’t consciously respond to them.

A long-term study from the University of California, Irvine (Dr. Gloria Mark) found that after an interruption, it takes an average of 23 minutes to fully refocus on the original task.

Twenty three freaking minutes. Every. Single. Time. 

That means every notification (that email, an Instagram DM, another app alert) fractures your attention and loses you SOOOO much time every day.

Even “quick checks” come with a cost.


Your phone is also a stress-relief device

This matters.

When work feels high-friction, your brain looks for relief.

Phones provide instant dopamine.
The sloggy-type work does not.

That’s why you’ll notice this pattern:

  • hard task *picks up the phone
  • boring task *picks up the phone
  • uncomfortable task *picks up the phone

This isn’t a character flaw.
It’s a habit loop.

And the habit is strong.

According to DataReportal’s 2024 Digital Global Overview, adults spend over 2 hours per day on social media on average

And that’s JUST social media.

And what’s super deceiving about that number is it’s only accounting for the time you spend on the actual app. 

It doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of how much lost time we have due to context switching.


The rule I teach clients (and follow myself)

Your phone does not belong in the room when you work.

Okay slow down. Before you think I’m a crazy person – let’s talk gentle rules for your biz, okay?

At minimum:

  • phone in another room
  • for the first 2-3 hours of your workday

Anything less, and you will pick it up.

Emergencies are the exception.
You can allow specific contacts through if needed – like your kids.

But the rule stays firm.

I love Dave Ramsey’s quote: “Adults do what needs to be done. Children do what feels good.”

I get it. It’s easy to read a blog like this and think: she’s crazy. I’m not on my phone that much. I don’t need to be told what to do. 

Try turning off your phone completely right now and see how many times in the next hour you reach to pick it up – without even realizing you were doing it. It’s pretty wild!

It’s kind of like when you lose power in your house and for the next 3 hours, you find yourself trying to turn on light switches. 

Ingrained habits need to be dealt with in a different kind of way. Or we will just succumb to the temptation.

You clicked on this blog because you want to try to focus so you can get more done in less time. 

So wouldn’t it be worthwhile to just try? Even one time?

It would help if you just put this to the test tomorrow and tried to work phone-free for the first 2 hours. And I do mean phone-free. Like your phone in an entirely different room (and yes, opening Instagram on your computer would be considered cheating – ha!).


What to do instead (this actually works)

Here’s the exact structure I teach:

  • Put your phone in another room
  • Set a physical timer for 50 minutes
  • Work head-down on one task
  • Take a 10-minute break
  • Repeat once

Wanna hear how weird I am?
Even during the break, I bring the timer with me.

It might sound extreme.
It works. Like reallllyyyyyy well.

Most women tell me they get more done in the first two hours this way than they normally get done in five or six distracted hours.

That’s the difference between being done by noon versus working totally distracted all day, not being done by dinner, and still trying to work in a few tasks after dinner.

Does that sound like the draem life to you?

I’d rather work with total focus and be done super early. That way, I can do more of what I love.

That’s the power of focus.


Why this changes everything

When your phone is gone:

  • your brain settles down and can get into a flow state
  • your thoughts are focused
  • you stop context switching
  • work feels lighter

You actually finish things.

You actually cross things off your to-do list.

And this (the FINISHED work!) is what grows a business.

Create friction (meaning make it harder to engage in a bad habit) around using your phone during your work blocks.


If focus still feels impossible

If you’ve tried this and still feel scattered, it usually means your business systems need simplification.

That’s exactly what I look at in Strategy Calls.

We remove stress, clean up priorities, and make focus possible again.

And if content creation is one of the biggest drains on your attention, Newsletter Batching Made Easy shows you how to batch 12 weeks of newsletters in under three hours so content stops stealing your workday.

If you keep ghosting your email list, you are losing trust with your subscribers. With Newsletter Batching Made Easy, you get to go WEEKS without writing, your emails get delivered on time, and you grow trust with your people. 

It’s just $77 and includes a live group coaching call with me. 

>>> Get started today.

Hello, I'm Kelly!

A latte-loving, polka dot and stripe wearing business coach. I’m mom to 4 wonderfully quirky, sarcastic, competitive, driven, and hilarious kids (plus 2 kids-in-law) and happily married to my rock-solid husband for 25 years. While I frequently spill food on myself and can never seem to find my iPhone, my dedication to helping women like you reclaim their time and thrive in their business is unstoppable. 

Boost Your Productivity Today

Discover the secrets to reclaiming 12+ hours each week with my free PDF, “Hyper Efficiency: 7 Strategies to Save 12+ Hours/Week”. Get your download now to transform your time management and boost your productivity!

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