And honestly, probably my sanity too
In 2019 and 2020, I landed my DREAM job.
Like the kind of job where I remember thinking,
“Holy crap. I cannot believe I get to do this.”
I was working somewhere I really loved.
I was running in the C-suite circle. Mostly men. Me and one other woman.
And the culture was just…work all the time.
Like 7 days a week.
Holidays.
Nights.
Early mornings.
Emails hitting my inbox at 3 AM.
And at the time, I thought that was just what all successful people did. Which is honestly wild to say now.
There was a guy who got praised because he had an air mattress in his office so he didn’t have to “waste time” driving home to sleep at night during the busy season. I wish I was kidding.
It got so bad in my own life that Keith and I started fighting about how much I was working.
And instead of going,
“Maybe this is a problem,” (because I love my husband more than ANYTHING [besides Jesus])
instead I started hiding my laptop under the bathroom sink before bed so I could “go to the bathroom” at 2 AM and send emails without him knowing.
I mean.
No words.
I was sick.
So I know what it feels like to work all the time
When women tell me,
“I feel like I work 24/7.”
“My brain never shuts off.”
“I’m answering messages on the couch at night.”
“I just need to do one more thing.”
I don’t judge them.
Because I was worse.
I was not just working a lot.
I was hiding work.
I was sneaking it.
Like an addict. It’s honestly still so painful to talk about.
And the worst part? I thought I was being a hard worker. I thought I was being valuable. I think part of me was trying to prove that I belonged in the room.
But really, I was losing myself.
And my family was getting the scraps.
Then I studied Sabbath.
At the time, I was back in school for a biblical studies degree, and I spent an entire semester researching the Sabbath.
And I need you to know, at first?
Nothing about it seemed doable. Like AT ALL.
I had:
- 4 kids at home
- 18 credit hours of college
- A 60 to 80 hour work week
- A husband traveling Monday through Thursday
ZERO margin. At all.
So when I started reading about the Sabbath, I was like…
“That’s nice. For someone else. There is NO WAY I can do that right now.”
I did NOT have time to rest. The weekends were when I did 90% of my coursework. Which is kind of hilarious now because that was exactly the problem.
I didn’t have time to rest because my life had no rhythm. No boundaries. And definitely no stop sign. There was never a moment where work was totally done.
It was all just bleeding together.
- Work into family.
- Family into work.
- School into work.
- Work into sleep.
- Emails into the middle of the night.
Just one giant tangled-up mess.
So when I decided to try it, I did not start with a whole day
This is the part I need you to hear:
I didn’t go from working nonstop to taking a full Sabbath overnight.
I started with 3 hours.
That’s it.
3 hours of no work.
No chores.
No cooking.
No cleaning.
No sneaking off to answer emails.
No “let me just check one thing real quick.”
Just sitting.
Being.
Resting.
And honestly?
It felt so weird.
Like my body didn’t know what to do with stillness.
In some ways I think I was really afraid of being still.
I wanted to get up.
I wanted to be productive.
I wanted to clean something.
I wanted to check my email.
I wanted to prove that I was still useful.
But I didn’t. I sat there.
And those 3 hours started changing me.
My kids noticed before I did Do you know what my kids started calling Sundays?
“Fun mommy day.”
And I still hate writing that. Because yes, it’s sweet. But also? It felt like a knife to the heart.
What they were really saying was:
- “You are easier to be around when you’re like this.”
- “You’re nicer when you’re not working nonstop.”
- “You’re more fun like this.”
- “I wish you could always be like this.”
And I had to face that. But not in like a shameful way. In a “Holy smokes, something has to change” kind of way.
Because I did not want my kids growing up thinking the only version of me they got was tired, distracted, cranky, and half-listening. Or that to be driven and productive = being crabby and a workaholic. Or that our worth is in what we produce. Ouch. That was probably the biggest thing for me. Accepting that I tied my value… my worth as a human to how much I could get done. And I had to let that go. I had to get healed.
I wanted them to get me.
The real me. The joyful me. The fun me.
Honestly, sweet entrepreneur, I didn’t realize how on edge, how stabby I had gotten.
The mom who could sit and laugh and be fully there without needing to be productive or get something done.
So I kept going
First it was 3 hours.
Then 5.
Then 8.
Then 12.
Eventually, I took the whole day.
Then I started taking Saturdays off too!
And listen. This was not some perfect, magical, spiritual montage where birds were chirping and I suddenly became peaceful forever. Haha. I wish.
But no. This was messy.
And…
- I had to learn how to plan ahead
- I had to learn how to shut things down
- I had to stop pretending everything needed me in order to keep the world spinning
- I had to stop checking messages just because they existed.
- I had to let some things wait.
Which sounds simple until your entire nervous system is trained to believe that everything will fall apart if you stop.
But it didn’t fall apart. The opposite happened.
I got better.
I became more focused.
More joyful.
More creative.
More present.
Way less cranky.
And on Monday mornings, I was like a house on fire. I started getting 3-4x MORE work done on Monday that I usually did. My body was rested. My brain was RARIN’ to go. It was (and is!!!) WILD!
And my work got better because I wasn’t running on exhaustion, caffeine, and snippiness.
Sabbath taught me something I now teach in business:
This is a huge part of the WHY behind Walk Like Warriors.
Because I don’t believe women should have to build businesses that require them to work nights and weekends forever. That your worth comes from what you produce.
What I believe is:
You need a rhythm.
You need a way to run your week.
You need systems you can trust.
You need a place for things to land besides your brain.
You need a shutdown point.
You need to know what actually matters today so you aren’t carrying 3,219 invisible tasks around in your head all weekend. Because if your business only works when you are perfectly healthy, fully motivated, fully energized, and nothing weird is happening with your kids…
that isn’t a system.
And I say that with love because I built that mess, too.
Sabbath isn’t just about rest. For me, Sabbath became the thing that exposed how unhealthy my life had become. It showed me where I had no boundaries and I was addicted to being needed. I was obsessed with being the hardest worker in the room. My value was tied to being the one everyone could count on to get the job done. Sabbath revealed those ugly parts of me for what they were. What I was doing wasn’t good. It was wrong. And it was hurting people I loved – people who needed me.
Rest is obedience.
And rest is trust. You have to trust that you can step away and the world won’t come crashing down. You can trust that your family will actually be better off with more rest outta you – not less. Rest is a reminder that we are not God. The universe doesn’t need us in perpetual motion in order to survive. But we sure do live like it all depends on us.
And even if you aren’t religious, hang with me here. Because the principle still matters.
You aren’t designed to be “on” every second of every day.
Your calendar needs white space.
Your body needs recovery.
Your family needs the version of you that is not constantly creating, replying, checking, fixing, tweaking, and “just doing one more thing.”
Start with 3 hours.
If a full day off feels impossible, don’t start there. Start with 3 hours. This weekend.
Pick a window.
No work.
No chores.
No “I’ll just answer this one DM.”
No cleaning the kitchen because you feel guilty sitting down.
No business podcasts in the name of “rest.”
No scrolling and calling it a break.
Actual rest.
Go outside.
Sit on the porch.
Take a nap.
Read something that has nothing to do with your business.
Play a game with your kids.
Go on a walk.
Practice piano.
Stare at a bird.
Jump in a puddle.
I’m serious.
Let your brain calm down.
Let your body remember that it doesn’t have to be in emergency mode.
Let your people experience you fully present.
And then pay attention.
How do you feel after?
How does your family respond?
What comes up in you when you stop working?
Do you feel peaceful? Or maybe…
- Guilty?
- Anxious?
- Bored?
- Panicky?
That is all data.
This is why structure matters.
People think I teach time management because I love organization. News flash: I don’t. I have ADHD, am wildly creative, love spontaneity and am an Enneagram 7. I’m a mess of wild energy, creative swings, and pursuit of fun.
But I knew I had to come up with a way that my business could run smoothly, I could rest, and I could still enjoy my life and business.
The point is knowing what to work on and when so your business is not living in your head all the time.
The point is being able to close your laptop and actually feel done.
The point is building a business that can grow without requiring more and more and more of you.
Because you can be a driven high-achiever and still have boundaries with your business.
You can care deeply about your clients and still be unavailable on Sunday. You can be ambitious and still rest. You can grow a serious business and still have a wildly beautiful personal life.
And honestly? You should. But it’s your call.
So here’s my challenge for you
Take 3 hours this weekend.
Just 3.
Not a whole lifestyle overhaul.
Not a dramatic announcement.
Not a perfectly aesthetic Sabbath plan with candles and sourdough and a linen dress.
Just 3 hours where work doesn’t live rent-free in your head – and all the chores just wait.
As a business coach to women, I want to help you grow your business, yes. But not at the expense of your joy, margin, and presence.
So start with 3 hours.
You’ve got this.
Cheering you on.
Kelly
